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Friends in brilliant places … – Chosing to become a Mum, alone

Friends in brilliant places …

You know when something is going on in your life and suddenly things you hadn’t really noticed before become like flashing neon signs … like when you fancy someone and suddenly every song was written for you, you are on a diet and all adverts are for burgers and chips or when you have no money and The Perfect Pair of Boots keep coming up as featured ads?

My life has become like that, but in an area I literally know nothing about (i.e. fertility treatments) I have two friends who work in fertility and for years, literally years, I have joked with them about keeping the good sperm aside for me. I had no real idea what I was saying obviously, it was just a joke among friends.

Then, when I had finally made my decision, and I was scrabbling around to find out what I actually need to do, it slowly dawned on me: I KNOW PEOPLE WHO KNOW THINGS! People I could ask questions. I emailed my friend and told her my plans. I, cheekily, asked if their clinic did any friends & family discounts (I am aware this is not John Lewis, but when embarking on something that is literally going to be eating your hard earned cash, anything is worth a try,) and could she give me any information about what the hell I am doing.

I received the most brilliant reply, full of support and positivity and facts. Actual facts and advice from someone that knows. Like the best Google search ever. She told me how things work, what I need, what is what … like a brilliant Delia recipe that is teaching you how to boil an egg (hopefully not literally), because you are hopeless and don’t know. She told me that she was going to be joining to a shiny new clinic, later in the year and that she would keep me up to date. Since then she and her partner who will both work at the new clinic have been brilliant. We’ve been out for lunch so that I can ask them all the dumb questions and I have been deeply irritating with stalkery texts about when the clinic will open and when I speak to someone. Throughout they have been brilliant, calm, not irritated and fonts of knowledge. Sadly for them I suspect my questions haven’t even really started yet.

Then, then there is the brilliant Money Man … a friend who works in mortgages. I needed someone who would be able release some cash from my house despite the fact that I am totally inept at financial management. I called him and explained what was going on, why I needed cash and off he went with his mission. I was nervous, if this didn’t work then I would have to sell my house. I really, really love my house and where I live and the thought of moving at a time when I am going to need everything to feel familiar was making me feel sick to the pit of my stomach. Like, sick sick. It is so crap that money is they thing that could stop me from starting my new life, the one I have wanted forever.

Anyway, a couple of days later, I received the email of dreams from him to tell me that (in principal obviously!) I would be able to get cash out of the house, so I can fill it with babies. Well a baby, lets just start with one.

When I made my decision I knew I would need my friends around me. I just didn’t realise that I would need them so early on and that they would be so ace in wanting to help me. I am a very lucky girl.

 

 

Photo: Magnolia from my friends garden. The most gorgeous sight!

 

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